Comment

Producer Comment by Clancy Bundy on January 16, 2012 at 11:13pm

/// distress call /// Mining Ship The Queen Maria /// distr-zzt!

"Hello? Hell0? Can ne1 heAr me? We'v estumbled acrOsS a stranGe artifaCt io0n ---

The crew iss - zzt... Oh god they're IN THE FLO)GGIN WALLs! SHO)O)T SHOO zzt!

... ... ... (Heavy breathing recorded)

/// hailing calls received no reply /// any available UGCA vessels in Sector B-6 encouraged to assist under Article 17 precautionary protocol ///

/// end transmission ///

Producer Comment by Clancy Bundy on December 20, 2011 at 12:28am

To whichever of you it may concern,

Doubling yourself will not double your stipend, and I expect BOTH of you to be at your desk(s) bright and early. I will, however, allow you TWO trips through the mess hall line as opposed to once. Need you both at peak performance.

It's a strange coincidence that we should discuss the outcomes of untrained pilots flying expensive, UGCA spacecraft... THIS is the latest from Trigger in the asteroid field.

Strange occurrence, it seems we have stumbled across a dimensional divide. I recognize the people in these photos here, but they couldn't possibly be who I think they are... Could they?

Any news on the tanj research? Do the micro people decompose into natural gasses and crude like other carbon based lifeforms? We are always happy to find another day's worth of that stuff.

Gallickson out

Comment by Colin Reynolds on December 8, 2011 at 2:38pm

Admiral - Just before your missive arrived I got a visit from me. The other me explained that you had authorised the purchase of the transtime flexhoop, so he thought he'd save a bit of time by using it to drop it off with me. Apparently the suppliers (TransTime Inc. of Hyringia) won't have any in stock for several weeks yet due to a severe shortage of spiral tubsicans. Of course, since he only has one, he can't use it to get back to the future, so he's gone down to the pub and left me to do the tanj research... lazy git. Hopefully I'll be able to do the holorecording and then come back here a fraction of a second after I left, so reporting by the end of the weekend shouldn't be a problem. Now then, what does this button do... >pop/p>

Producer Comment by Clancy Bundy on December 8, 2011 at 1:54pm

CRP, I find your investigation of this Nonsense Spike intriguing. I'll provide you the budget necessary but be warned... You're OFFICIALLY tucked cozily into the pocket of my ruthlessly well pressed military issued khakis. If there are beings inside this spike of yours, well, I expect to know everything about them by the end of the weekend. How they mate, cultural specifics, political affiliations, and most importantly, how can we profit off them...

We keep trying to tell Trigger that taking the pilot off Transolar is a bad idea. I'm sure Yasaki squawks about it too. But, in his defense, PO McCall COULD, I suppose, manage to helm the ship from engineering should Trigger foolishly take Yasaki with him. Hell if I know. I know I didn't authorize that training. As you can see, I'm not really in the loop as much as one would expect THE FLOGGING BOSS to be.

... sorry. I get a little frustrated.

Dead? I wish. Far as I know he is stuck in an asteroid field. Keep drinking that coffee. Just for awhile longer...

Gallickson out.

Comment by Scooter on December 8, 2011 at 7:09am

These are awesome. Kind of a modern day cartoon. Very creative and funny. Great effects. Keep them coming.

Comment by Colin Reynolds on December 7, 2011 at 7:15am

Uh, Admiral? I think I lost the plot. Weren't they all dead? I know they're all dead again now (well, save Yasaki's puking clone -- no, scratch that, probably not a good idea) but that's really beside the point. Where can we go from here, now the crew has been blown out into space by Trigger's peace negotiabations? (Who's flying the flogging ship?)

Incidentally, there's a good chance I was wrong about that nonsense spike being a shared delusion. As it turns out, what I thought were just greasy smudges on the screen may have been incidental side-effects on my visual field caused by an attempted communication from beings living within the spike itself. My initial investigations into this hypothesis suggest that I would need to build a transtime flexhoop to nip back in time so as to make a 360 holorecording of the event -- which of course would mean a budget hike.

Oh, by the way, I'm running out of coffee again. (This is coffee, right?)

Producer Comment by Clancy Bundy on December 6, 2011 at 10:30pm

Flogging hell...

Apparently diplomacy is beyond Trigger's skill set. Full disclosure here. We've tried to bring the Transolar back for a debriefing but, apparently they are in some sort of distress. Last known location was near the asteroid belt.

Admiral Gallickson

Comment by Colin Reynolds on November 13, 2011 at 2:23am

CRP to Admiral Gallickson, re: Nonsense Spike analysis.

I've uploaded the full report to the UGCA central database. Summary: I thought it was there: it wasn't. By mentioning that I thought it was there, I led others to believe it was a true event (hence the term 'shared delusion'). Turns out it was simply a greasy smudge on the display screen of my DIPSHIT (deluxe intelligence probe; significant heuristics integrated temporally). Dalphane (my luxury cleanerbot) kept trying to shift it, but only managed to move it about, making it appear as though it was moving towards us.

Concerning weaponisation prospects: might it be worth considering hawking modified cleanerbots to the enemy, ones that are programmed to make smudges on DIPSHITs and move them about in the hope of instilling shared delusions at critical times? (Somehow, I doubt it...)

Producer Comment by Clancy Bundy on November 9, 2011 at 4:18pm

Glad to hear from from you CRP, we need you more than ever...

The good news is the UGCA has no shortage of critics. Critics who like to blow our outer rim planets into oblivion. Good thing about galactic government, you're never want for angry entities to blame incidents like the "Holocaust on Lazariz" on. Our top PR guys have bags under there eyes from all the overtime already, making it look like a Locus attack. We will keep the holodeck scenario as a contingency in case GPR gets their do-gooder, journalistic fangs into it before we're done covering our collective ass.

Sticks and carrots son, sticks and carrots. We're not above any means to keep the ranks full and the brass happy. And as the brass, I like to be happy.

Nonsense spike was a shared delusion? Please elaborate. How effective could it potentially be? Most importantly: can it be weaponized?

Good work, as always CRP. Keep it up and I'll keep you well away from the Huruvian lines.

Gallickson out

Comment by Colin Reynolds on November 9, 2011 at 11:23am

Sorry, Admiral, I've been hiding in a Northloopish backwater in the hope of avoiding the Huruvian frontlines draft you threatened earlier... but now you're offering, no, hold on, this can't be right -- what's the catch? -- a nincentive? Sticks and carrots? Seems to be turning into a real no-holds-barred situation.

As for how to keep the lid closed on that, my only suggestion is to blame it on the holodeck. I'm not sure the mind slug hypothesis will hold much longer.

By the way, I've finished my analysis on that nonsense spike we passed by last month. Turns out it was a simple shared delusion.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page